sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
