last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
