Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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