Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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