Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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