hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i already hear my dad disowning me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
