Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
