careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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