I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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