I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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