It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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