Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
