i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
