So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
