There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
