Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
