His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
