how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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