hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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