By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
