Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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