you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
