thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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