Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
