Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
