My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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