If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
