i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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