loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
