dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
