her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
