i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My ass is underappreciated
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
