He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
