I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
