I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
