Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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