maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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