He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
