I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
