grandma shit on top of the toilet
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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