TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
