Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
