were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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