Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
