I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
