life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize