so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
