everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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