Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
