i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
