He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
