I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
