THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
